Thursday, 22 September 2011

Romantic Friday Writers - Blue Moon

This week I’m posting my entry to Romantic Friday Writers a day early. Since I did a post on Monday, I’m skipping the ThrustyTM Thursday post this week.

The RFW challenge this week is to write a piece of flash fiction/poem/excerpt of 400 words max with the theme of Blue Moon.

I’ve chosen a snippet from my current work-in-progress, a contemporary romance titled Just My Luck. To see the previous snippet from this manuscript go to Romantic Friday Writers: Lunch Date.

In this scene Wale and Trina are still having lunch in the restaurant. Unable to resist her effusive charm, he kisses her. However they are interrupted by an unhappy customer. I hope you enjoy it. Let me know what you think at the end.

Word Count: 398 (MPA)
“Some people have no shame behaving like that in broad daylight. This is Lagos, not Los Angeles.”

Brought back to cold reality, Trina heard the condescending voice of a woman. She turned in its direction. It was the woman seated alone at the next table. The same woman she’d mentally tangled with earlier when she’d taken Steve’s call. With a superior attitude, nose up in the air, the woman stuffed her book into her bag keeping her eyes averted as she mumbled something Trina couldn’t hear. In such a euphoric mood, Trina couldn’t come up with a quick retort to shut the woman up, as would’ve been her response in any other situation.

At the moment, she lacked the power of speech. Blown away...gobsmacked...tongue-tied, a very rare occurrence. In fact, she would have to check if there was a blue moon rising tonight. It was probably the first time in her adult life she couldn’t talk. All because of Wale’s spontaneously mind-blowing kiss.  He, on the other hand, seemed to have no such problems.

“Some people obviously have no manners. Otherwise they would know when to mind their own business.”

Wale turned, fixing an imposing glare on the woman, his tone even more arrogant than hers. The cool unruffled gentleman had disappeared replaced by a menacing combatant. His controlled rage only visible via the ticking vein on his forehead. The woman visibly shrank back.

Trina’s breath caught in her throat in pleasant surprise that he’d intervened. People rarely came to her defence. She could more than handle herself in any situation. Very few people out-matched her in a verbal wrangle. It was good to know that despite Wale’s quiet brooding demeanour, he could still rise to the challenge. An image of him rising to the challenge in other ways popped into her head sending a warm shiver down her back.

Before Trina could ponder how many other ways Wale could rise, the woman huffed in outrage, picked up her bag and walked towards the restaurant doors. A smile crept into Trina’s face as a waiter stopped the woman before she could walk out.  She’d obviously forgotten to pay her bill in her conceited rush to be rid of them. Trina could see the subdued look of embarrassment on her face as she apologised to the waiter and walked to the till. Yes, some poetic justice! Trina cheered silently.

Share your comments as usual. To see other entries for this week's challenge, use the RFW link above of click on the RFW image on the right hand bar. Wishing you a fabulous weekend.


  1. This made me laugh. I can just imagine the scene with the busybody. Then there's the rise...of Trina's imagination. She is sooo naughty.

  2. Hi Kiru! This was so intense at times yet humourous too, in an ironic way. I like how you've begun with dialogue which sort of causes a pause, then into it. Great.


  3. Hi,

    Ha ha, nice one. A good fun read, and visual by way of minimal descriptive prose!


  4. I do love this, the humor and the chemistry between Wale and Trina.

    However, my sneakin' sympathy is with the woman diner (even though she had no business saying something, aloud). PDA's are a bit rude. Someone once said it's as rude to make out in front of unpaired people, as it is to eat in front of hungry people. Not that I want to shut down couples holding hands and exchanging kisses in public, I think that's charming, but there's a fine line between a sweet kiss that turns passionate, and a "get a room!" kind of kiss.

    Good romance does have the ability to turn us upside down and inside out, and you express that for Trina beautifully. I really like her, and Wale, and the bond I see growing between them.

  5. I love it. What a great way to show where the story is taking place! I think you have a great balance of dialogue, action, and inner thoughts.

  6. Well, Trina knows that she has a keeper in Wale. I like how she mentions the fact that people rarely stick up for her.

  7. Hi Kiru,

    Thanks for visiting my post.

    I agree with Joy. It was nice that Trina mentions that people seldom stick up for her, and nice to have Wale to defend her. But I am a little split between liking the kiss and agreeing with Beverly that it was probably not the right place to do it. Why does Wale have to use the same anger and self-righteousness to get the woman guest off their backs? Is there no other way? A witty remark? I don't know. I hope that side of Wale is not used against Trina one day.

    A great read!
    Best wishes,
    For the benefitof other readers:
    Anna's REWers Challenge No 20 'Blue Moon'

  8. Before Trina could ponder how many other ways Wale could 'rise'...

    hahahahaha....naughty naughty. But I haven't been following the story so I know there's still much to catch up on. Yet, I loved it. Good one!

  9. This has such a wonderful flirty energy about it! I really liked the opening atmosphere and dialogue. I also like the 'naughtiness'.

  10. i love the understated sexiness. everytime i come over here i expect to blush in all sorts of places. different but just as pleasurable.

  11. Thank you all for stopping by and leaving your lovely comments. I'm still trying to get a handle on this story so hopefully more soon. :)


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