My image of Ugo. The Protector by Sterling Brown |
To read the other submissions for Romantic Friday Writers, go here. The
theme for this week is Haunting in celebration of All Hallows Eve.
To read the other submissions for Weekend Dirty Dozen, go here. I’m
sure there’ll be a few spooky stories with bite there too.
***
Part Two (Read part one here)
Word count: 400
Slowly, Ugo moved her hands over
his chest working up a rhythm. Chanting, she called on the spirits of their
ancestors to clear her path and use her as a conduit to heal Ebube.
The air around her charged with energy, crackled like in a
thunderstorm. It distorted and moved in waves. For a while, she worked her
fingers over his skin transferring the energy of her ancestors into him and
drawing out the bad energy from his body. Her chi worked with her, guiding her. The mmuo ojo had used Ebube’s injury as access to haunt and attack his
spirit. The raging battle manifested itself physically as the fever.
If the fever subsided, then he stood a chance of winning the spiritual
battle. She had to draw out the pus from the festered flesh and close the
wound. She focused her energy on it, feeling his pain and fever travel into her
body. She screamed when excruciating pain rocketed through her body. Struggling
to keep her hands on Ebube, she doubled over in agony. Her back felt like it
was on fire. Gritting her teeth, she resisted the temptation to touch it. After
a while, the pain passed through her dissipating into the atmosphere.
Ebube’s body convulsed briefly. Closing her eyes, she maintained the
contact and chanted until his body stilled again. She moved her hands to cover
his head and eyes. It was hot like a bare flame.
An image entered her head. It was of Ebube wrestling with a demon with spikes
and boils on its body. The demon had him in a death grip on the ground. Ebube’s
blood leaked where the spikes had punctured his skin.
“Ebube,
get up! Fight for your life,” she shouted at him in her mind.
He heard her and turned his head towards her.
“The
amulet. Put it in my hand,” his faint reply.
Opening her eyes, Ugo took her hand off his eyes and quickly removed
the amulet from her neck. She folded it into his still hand. When she put her
hand back on his eyes, the image came back.
This time, she saw a large leopard mauling the demon, shredding it to
pieces.
Where was Ebube? Had the leopard mauled him too? Had she been too late?
The leopard turned around to face her. She screamed, “Ebube!” before collapsing
onto his body with exhaustion, descending into darkness.
***
Are you spooked yet? LOL. I hope you enjoyed the snippet. Share your thoughts, please. And remember to
check all the other submissions this week. Have a great weekend and stay safe.
Hi,
ReplyDeleteI've read both the excerpts in sequence!
Let alone the heat of Africa, the atmosphere perfectly replicates fear of the fever and its consequences. I like the way you fed the finite details in small doses, and allowed the demon to enter play by way of Ugo's trance like state.
I'm itching to know more, and why the leopard features. Though I'm of mind he's a good omen if not Ebube's protector! ;)
Lovely images!
best
F
Hi Francine,
ReplyDeleteThank you for reading both excerpts. I'm so glad you think I captured the fear Ugo felt dealing with Ebube's fever. I wrote this story months ago but I want to rewrite parts of it before I submit it to a publisher.
About the leopard, you are on the right track. The amulet features a leopard head and protects Ebube.
Cheers,
Kiru
Dear Kiru,
ReplyDeleteI have also read both excerpts and am impressed. You are indeed a story-teller!
I feel the heat. I feel Ebube's fever. I feel Ugo's pain from Ebube. This is a text that speaks to the senses and makes the reader leave logic and reason behind and believe in magic.
Such good writing!
Best wishes,
Anna
Anna's RFWers' Challenge No. 25 - 'Haunting'
Dear Anna,
ReplyDeleteSuch high praise. I feel so good I'm playing the song 'I feel good' by James Brown right now in my head. LOL
What can I say but a big thank you. :)
Best regards,
Kiru
It's all been said and it's certainly well deserved praise going by your snippets. I love the appeal to the senses and the African setting which incorporates the paranormal. Really creative use of the haunting theme. This is inspiring work, Kiru. You show that African writers do not need to throw away authentic African settings to connect with readers from other cultures. The African colour and setting gives your work that extra edge, authenticity and creativity. Bravo!
ReplyDeleteAdura, now I'm blushing. Thank you. :o))
ReplyDeleteI thoroughly enjoyed reading both excerpts. The paranormal storyline really blends excellently with the Iboland setting. It is refreshing the way you explain Ebube's healing in unbiased terms. I am very impressed!
ReplyDeleteYep, Kiru, James Brown 'I Feel Good' should be singing in your head.
ReplyDeleteTop marks for a story sizzling with passion and African culture. I'm sure The Healer's Warrior will be accepted for publication somewhere along the line. Now you left us all in a heap at the end. We'll all be craving more...
Thank you for a great entry for the theme!
Denise
Hello Kiru.
ReplyDeleteI've said before, but you are the QUEEN of storytelling. I can't imagine this not being snatched up by the publisher!
I've been enthralled since the first excerpt. Your stories come alive with your pen.
Awesome setting & imagery...but I need more!
This Unknown Spirit
Fantastic comments to wake up this morning. Thank you all for the vote of confidence.
ReplyDeleteEccentricyoruba, I try to write my stories the way I like to read stories, without prejudice. The characters take the lead and I try to convey how they live the way they show me.
Denise and Andy, the perfectionist in me wants to get it right before I send it out. Though, it's a struggle sometimes with the impatient me that wants my works out there. It's nice to know that people want to read the story. :)
Hm am short of words. You keep thrilling and inspiring me. keep it up!
ReplyDeleteElishama, thank you. I'm pleased you're thrilled. :)
ReplyDeleteWhat a read! You have an extraordinary talent for details...I have to agree with Andy - where are the publishers?
ReplyDeleteThe story is amazing and thrilling all the way.
Thank you, eclipseofthemoon. Hopefully the publishers will snap it up when it's ready.
ReplyDeleteAwesome. I loved it. Such a taste of spiritual healing the physical body. Well written.
ReplyDeleteNancy
N. R. Williams, The Treasures of Carmelidrium
Nancy, thank you. In Igbo mythology, the spiritual heals the physical. Illnesses and other physical problems are said to result from spiritual misalignments or problems.
ReplyDeleteExcellent writing! Thanks for sharing!
ReplyDeleteJolie, thank you for stopping by and leaving a lovely comment. Hope to see you again soon.
ReplyDeleteI really enjoyed this! Was drawn right in and you left me hanging there at the end!
ReplyDeleteI like your different take on the theme. The details of spiritual healing were great.
ReplyDeleteI hope that she's done enough to exorcise the demon despite collapsing over her lover's body at the sight of it.
Loved this, it drew me in and made me want more.
ReplyDeleteLynda
Great excerpts!
ReplyDelete:D
I think this is my first visit here. I've been attracted by your illustrations. i like the detailing specially spiritual healing were great .
ReplyDeleteKathleen, Madeleine, Lynda, Rawiya and Shona, thank you so much for stopping by and leaving your kind comments. Happy Sunday. :)
ReplyDeleteOh no! I really am spooked! I so wanted the two of them to be safe after the demon was attacked by the leopard.
ReplyDeleteHi Deniz, thanks for stopping by. Yeah, I was spooked too when I wrote that bit. But rest assured things do work out for the two of them eventually. It is a romance after all. :)
ReplyDeleteBoth of those were great Kiru. Ugo's fear both of her abilities to heal him and fear for him was palpable in the first, and I could so feelher pain and tenacity in this excerpt. Wow, I am intrigued by this story Ugo is a vivid, rich character; and I'm thinking Ubube must be just as strong to have captured her interest.
ReplyDeleteDemon hauntings is spooky stuff.
......dhole
Donna, thank you. I'm glad you enjoyed it. See you again soon. :)
ReplyDeleteThis is so exciting! Also really interesting. I like it.
ReplyDeleteThank you, Ruth. :)
ReplyDeleteAn interesting excerpt! Thanks Kiru!
ReplyDeleteThank you, Nas.
ReplyDeleteI'm looking forward to the book. i really like this
ReplyDeleteUgo, thank you. I'm can't wait to finish writing the book.
ReplyDelete