Hello everyone! I'm back doing Romantic Friday Writers which means I'm back writing again after a 2-month break. Can someone give me an halleluyah! LOL.
It tell you it feels great to be writing again. It's like chains have been broken and I'm released from captivity. Seriously. :)
Right. Before I get to today's post I've got one quick announcement.
HIS TREASURE nearly scooped another award. It was a runner-up at the 2012 Swirl Awards in the novella category. You can check out the rest of the winners at the Swirl Awards website. Getting the news has worked wonders in inspiring me again. So a big woohoo!
Now, on to RFW. This week's challenge is to write 600 words of prose or poetry for the theme I Should've Kissed You.
Since I've been out of the RFW loop for a while I really wanted to participate this week. So I've just written this piece this afternoon. It's going to be part of a Christmas story I'm writing titled His Christmas Wish. It's still very rough and it's longer than 600 words. Sorry. But I hope you enjoy reading it. Feel free to critique it. As always I love your feedback.
***
Joshua
Inemo-Spiff waited outside, ready to confront his future. The late afternoon
sun kissed his back with heat rays. On reflex, he rolled his shoulders and
massaged his neck.
It was
madness standing out here in the heat when he had a sleek cool car parked a few
metres away. Or even better an air-conditioned office with piles of work he
could get on with accomplishing.
Yet he was
out in the sweat-inducing temperature of the Abuja sunshine. The raison d’ĂȘtre?
An envelope and it alarming contents.
The oak-timber
door swung inwards. Christ stood at the entrance. Clear brown eyes that he didn’t
think he could ever forget stared back at him. Her auburn afro hair was loose
in twisted curls dangling around her shoulders, with a rose petal pin holding
back one side. Her luscious caramel lips curved in an unwelcoming scowl.
“Joshua,”
she said in a breathy soft voice that still played a role in his dreams. “What
are you doing here?”
Without
haste, his gaze travelled across her body from head to toe. She didn’t seem to
have changed a bit since he last saw her, dressed in a grey halter-neck top and
orange/grey print skirt. She had the same flawless oval-shaped caramel face. The
same bountiful graceful curves in the right places and long legs he’d rather
have wrapped around his hips.
When her
gaze flicked to the brown envelope in his hand, there seemed to be a spark of
recognition in her eyes. The way she pulled her bottom lip with her teeth was
an indication that she was nervous. As she was responsible for the contents of
the envelope and its implications, she should be worried.
“Are you going
to let me in, Christy?”
“I’m not
sure that’s a good idea. What’s this about?”
“I think
you know.” He lifted his arm bringing the envelope into prominence. “We need to
talk.”
She took
another swipe of her lip with her teeth and backed away, offering him a
reluctant invitation.
Joshua
walked into the living room of the apartment and closed the door. It was
furnished in Christy style—pastel-coloured curtains and cushions, cream upholstered
sofa and chairs, round coffee table with a light pink glass top.
Memories of
both of them smashed into his mind. Pictures he couldn’t escape or blank out.
Christy in his arms, soft and fragrant; on his bed, warm and welcoming. Joshua
coming home one day to a cold and empty house. Devoid of Christy. Joshua
boarding up his heart when the pain of her absence became unbearable.
“Why don’t you
come home?” he asked.
She folded
her arms across her chest, her eyes flashing a baleful glare. “You know why,”
she said before sitting in the corner of the sofa.
A surge of
desire swelled within him with the vigour of a high-voltage electric power. The
rise of Christy’s emotions had always had the power to arouse him. She was his
one weakness.
Sometimes he
wondered if she knew it.
He sat down
beside her. She moved to stand. He put his hand on her thigh, keeping her
pinned to the sofa, letting her heat brand him.
She turned
to him, the intensity of her glare increasing. Her full breasts rose and fell
in a rapid rhythm. He stared at her
caramel lips being worried again by her teeth.
The urge to
kiss them rose as he remembered what she felt like when he kissed her. Her
softness, her moans. Her passion. Everything else faded away. It was them
against the world. Yet all that had changed when she left him.
The old
hurt resurfaced. He ignored the persistent urge of his desire and moved his hand
from her thigh.
“I don’t know
why,” he said instead. “All you said was that you needed a break. That was three
months ago.”
In a flash,
she stood and walked away from the sofa. From him. Again. Her a-line Ankara skirt
swirled around her knees as she turned to face him, her arms back under her
chest lifting her breasts into prominence.
“Yes, I
did,” she said. “You and I are not working out. There’s no point prolonging it.
I thought that was why you came here.”
Regret
washed over him. He knew then he should have kissed her.
***
I hope you enjoyed reading it. Share your thoughts please. Remember to click the link and read the other RFW entries this week. Have a great weekend.
Great start. A must continue!
ReplyDeleteThank you, Yazmin. I shall be continuing. Some muses are just too loud to be ignored. lol
DeleteOoh, this is good. It sounds like it wouldn't have made a difference if he had kissed her or not. It will be interesting to see how this pans out
ReplyDeleteYes, she's not very happy with him at the moment. Thank you, Heather.
DeleteDear Kiru,
ReplyDeleteWelcome back!
Engaging story. You know how to get the reader hook-line-and-sinker!
Well done!
Best wishes,
Anna
RFW - I should have kissed you
You're so kind, Anna. Thank you.
DeleteHalleluyah! She's back! I told you you'd have trouble keeping those muses away, didn't I.
ReplyDeleteScorching piece as always, Kiru;) Now I'm wondering what caused the rift. I'll bet...in his head, he's really angry about something. He should have just kissed her jor. I'm glad he's regretting it.
You're right. He is angry. But you know men... :) Thank you, Adura.
DeleteWell done Kiru!!! A nice hot steamy read!! Left me wanting more!! Congratulations!!! :)
ReplyDeleteMore soon, hopefully. Thanks, Crystal. :)
DeleteHot, sexy, smouldering, and I want to know why it isn't working out. He sounds luscious, but he must have done something wrong. Loved the line, "She was his one weakness. Sometimes he wondered if she knew it."
ReplyDeleteWould there be a problem if she did?
Someone is using someone? Love it!
He certainly doesn't trust her motives at the moment. So that could be a big problem. Thanks, Yolanda. :)
DeleteSo glad to see you're writing again :-) You must carry on with this. I want to know their history and what's in that envelope.
ReplyDeleteThank you, D. I'd like to know what's in the envelope too. ;)
DeletePassionate and emotional. He's going to have to work harder than just one kiss to win her back if she's as feisty as she seems to be. It will be great to read more of their story.
ReplyDeleteOh, she's a feisty one. He's going to work so much harder by the time the story is done. Thanks, Sally. :)
DeleteHi Kiru
ReplyDeleteMen are often clueless, aren't they. You captured his regret well and her anger. On the critique front there were several misspelled words. The one I remember off hand is that the first time you mention her name you say Christ instead of Christy. An easy mistake.
Welcome back. Well done.
Nancy
Men can be clueless and Joshua is certainly in the dark at the moment. lol
DeleteThanks for the correction. I giggled when I read the post and saw Christ at the door.
Ooh hot! I loved that you got the key line in at the end which was so apt.
ReplyDeleteCongrats on the runner up award for 'His Treasure'
Thank you, Madeleine!
DeleteHi,
ReplyDeleteFirst off - Huge Congratulations on Award status!
Poor lad, his blood thrumming with hot desire and then the crash and heart diving to the depths. Oh the bitch! Never mind regret at not kissing her, he should be glad he didn't. ;)
best
F
LOL. Thank you, Francine. ;)
DeleteCongratulations KIru! You're back! And with attitude! Yes, Hallelujah! Yes, this is a Christmas Story alright! Love your hot characters and am wondering what's going on here. I'm sure you'll enlighten us. You had me with his name right at the beginning - Joshua Inemo-Spiff. What a name. You nailed him. But what about Christy?
ReplyDeleteCritique: I think you don't need 'accomplishing' in para. 2, and I wonder if Christ was standing at the door or whether you meant 'Christy'. Never mind, Christ got my attention.
Thank you for posting for us again Kiru. Have certainly missed your sensuous stories.
The use of the prompt sentence at the end really nailed the prompt.
Denise
I'll be delving into Christy's head to find out why she's so pissed off. Thank you.
DeleteYes, it wasn't Christ standing at the door, though it would've been s pleasant surprise for Joshua too. LOL. Thanks for the critique.
Interesting...will have to come back and find out what happens next..
ReplyDeleteThank you, Nilanjana. Come back soon. :)
Deleteyou put this song in my head and I had to listen to it first:
ReplyDeletehttp://www.youtube.com/watch?v=T2NEU6Xf7lM&feature=related
Congrats on the award Kiru. I feel your excitement.
This was a sensual treat. Made me hungry for caramel :) Loved the characters; nicely built tension. Very hot! Reading the prior kiss description I certainly wanted to experience it again.
Thanks for participating this week.
........dhole
I really like that song. There are so many version of it but this one is good too.
DeleteThank you so much. Yes, I had caramel on my mind too. LOL
Sorry to get here so late, but just wanted to say I really liked this excerpt. Can't wait to read the rest. :-)
ReplyDeleteThank you, Rhonda. It's great to see you here. :)
DeleteHi, Kiru,
ReplyDeleteIts nice to see a strong MALE POV. Very authentic voice. Well done.
This is so good. Steamy, angry, with tension and desire.
ReplyDeleteLike Michael said, you do the male POV well. I will definitely come back to see what happens next.
I forgot to add, congrats on the award. :)
ReplyDeleteWoop woop Kiru's back!! I'm all late to the party lol. Okay, first things first, I appreciate hearing the male perspective too.
ReplyDeleteIt's refreshing to be in his head with him. I love that she's making him work for whatever it is that he's done.
Secondly, afro hair in a twistout? Ankara skirt?? Love love love it!
So... when are we getting more?
WHY? Why did she leave?
ReplyDeleteEons, later, I am finally here. Love the tension between these two.
ReplyDeleteIt's "Christy" everywhere else, "Christ" when she's standing in the doorway. Also, love her caramel lips, but not sure she should also have a caramel face. I like the detail of her Ankara skirt - but would a GUY call it that, or would he just know it was something swirly? Can you give us that when you switch to her POV.
Love the story, can't wait to read what happens next.
Thank you, Michael, Rek, Geri, Igbophilia and Beverly Diehl.
ReplyDeleteThe manuscript is now with the editor. :)