Sunday, 9 March 2014

Please HELP me with my experiment! #SexySnippets

Welcome back to Sexy Snippets. This weekly meme is hosted by The Nuthouse Scribblers where we share seven sentences from a published book or work-in-progress. If you're a writer, feel free to join us by signing up at the Sexy Snippets page. Sign up opens every Tuesday and closes midnight every Saturday (UK time).

This has been an exhausting week in KiruWorld when it comes to writing. Losts of changes abound. One of them is that I'm considering POV changes in from 3rd to 1st person for the Keeping Secrets manuscript.

So I'm going to do an experiment with you guys for my sexysnippets. I'm going to share the same 7 sentences from the start of the wip in 1st and 3rd person and let you tell me which you prefer. I am grateful for your help. Thank you.

Here's the 1st person POV



“Mrs. Essien, your husband is out of the coma.”
Phone pressed against one ear, the other hand reaching for the remote control, I bolted upright. My hand shook as I fumbled to mute the television news channel I'd been watching. The discarded controller clanked onto the clear glass-topped side table.
"D—did I hear you correctly? Felix is awake?" I couldn't hide the tremor in my voice nor relax my tight-knuckled grip on the overstuffed arm of the upholstered cream sofa. Disbelief warred with hope, trampling all over my troubled mind.


Here it is in 3rd person POV



“Mrs. Essien, your husband is out of the coma.”
Phone pressed against one ear, the other hand reaching for the remote control, Ebony bolted upright. Her hand shook as she fumbled to mute the television news channel she'd been watching. The discarded controller clanked onto the clear glass-topped side table.
"D—did I hear you correctly? Felix is awake?" She couldn't hide the tremor in her voice nor relax her tight-knuckled grip on the overstuffed arm of the upholstered cream sofa. Disbelief warred with hope, trampling all over her troubled mind.



So tell me which one you prefer, please and thank you.
Check out the other sexy snippets this week