Over the weekend I was watching a Nollywood Movie with hubby. In one scene, a married woman was chatting with her bodyguard and she asked him if he was married. He replied with no, lifting his bare ring finger. She laughed and said that not wearing a ring didn't mean the man wasn't married.
At which point I turned to my husband. Lo and behold, hubby wasn't wearing his ring. My response was Huh, why aren't you wearing your ring?
He goes on to explain that for all the years he was working abroad he didn't wear his ring because he was constantly taking it off when he showered, etc and he didn't want to lose it. So he hasn't worn it regularly in years.
For a brief moment, I was quite angry. How could he not wear his wedding ring? I wear mine all the time especially when I go out. In the past two years, I haven't even taken it off for one day.
Then he explains that he'd told me a long time ago that he wasn't wearing the ring. Of course I can't remember ever having that conversation. However, he could've been right.
When I thought about it some more I realized why it annoyed me. A wedding band/ring is a symbol of love, commitment and respect shared between a husband and wife. It is a symbol of their union ordained by God. I know these days marriage doesn't matter to a lot of people but it matters to me.
I've come to accept that wearing the ring doesn't stop people from misbehaving. It didn't stop some men from making a pass at me, knowing I was married.
Some women are attracted to married men. In a world were 'good men are rare' they see a man wearing a wedding band as being 'responsible' and want some of the commitment he shows his wife for themselves.
So perhaps hubby not wearing one is a good thing. LOL.
Anyway, I've also come to appreciate that there are other symbols of commitment. In Scars, although they have their wedding bands, Benjamin gives Selina an object (you'll have to read it to find out what) as a symbol of his commitment to their relationship. I have a good friend who wears a collar as a symbol of her D/s relationship with her husband. So there's a large spectrum of relationships and different symbols to signify them
So back to the question, am I worried because my husband doesn't wear his wedding ring all the time?
No. I know he is committed to our marriage because of the way he loves, protects and cares for me and our children. That is all the reassurance I need.
What about you? What symbols of commitment are important to you? Are you married? Do you wear your ring all the time? Would you be worried if your spouse doesn't wear his or hers?
Share your thoughts. Leave me a comment. I love to read them.